


standing on the edge of the earth

by thisissirius



Series: merlin episode codas [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BADASS GWEN, F/M, M/M, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1694645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Arthur grits his teeth and feels Lancelot's hands on his back. "I didn't save one to lose another!"</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>coda to <i>lancelot and guinevere</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	standing on the edge of the earth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gwyntastic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwyntastic/gifts).



> reposting my lj merlin fic, so if you've seen this before, that's why.
> 
> for gwyntastic because she inspired me by thinking the EXACT SAME THING. 
> 
> originally written for derryere's [hugging meme](http://derryere.livejournal.com/125553.html).

"MERLIN!"

Merlin looked over sharply at the shout, catching Arthur's eyes through the bars.

"Don't just sit there cowering, let's go!"

He nods and reaches for the bars, boosting himself up. Arthur is still squaring off against the Wildren but looks up as Merlin starts to climb - and as the hand closes around his ankle. Merlin looks down, eyes wide and scared and Arthur is torn between staving off the beast (saving Lancelot and _Guinevere_ ) and fighting his way to Merlin. The person - Arthur can't see his face through the crowd - yanks on Merlin's ankle and he's pulled down, cracking his chin on the bar. Arthur can hear the grunt and smack from where he is and winces, fist tightening on the sword.

"Arthur, we have to go!"

"Go!" Merlin echoes, hands grabbing and pulling him down and back. "Arthur, just _go_."

Arthur grits his teeth and feels Lancelot's hands on his back. "I didn't save one to lose another!"

"We have to _go_ ," Lancelot repeats, his face angry but steadfast and Arthur knows they have no choice. It grates on every nerve, goes against every instinct to leave Merlin here. It feels like a trade; save Guinevere to lose Merlin and every step is a fist of iron around his heart. He lets Lancelot pull him back because he knows he can't go of his own accord and forces himself to pick out Merlin's face in the crowd, the face of their leader looming over him and he's _grinning_.

"I'll kill him," Arthur growls, but he's still walking backwards. "I'll kill him."

Lancelot makes a noise and his fingers tighten around Arthur's arm. "I _know_."

\---

Lancelot watches Arthur pace, kicking at the dirt and the trees and anything else he can get his hands on. Guinevere has been watching him too, hands uncomfortable by her sides as though she wants to touch him, comfort him. Lancelot should probably be jealous, should feel it bubbling just under the surface but he doesn't and he doesn't know why. Arthur is in love with Guinevere, that he would travel all this way to rescue her is evidence alone, but Lancelot is sure of Gwen's love for _him_.

"We have to rescue him," Guinevere says softly, holding Arthur's eye.

"Really?" He said, dryly. "How would you suggest we do that?"

Lancelot stands, ready to defend Gwen but she doesn't need his help. She tilts her head, eyes hard and angry. "You were ready to rescue me alone - you and Merlin! - and you think that with _Lancelot_ , you can achieve less?"

Arthur and Merlin would have stood more of a chance, Lancelot knows. Just because Arthur's knowledge of Merlin's magic is non-existent doesn't mean that Merlin would have been incapable of using it.

\---

Their plan is stupid and involves far too many risks but Arthur and Merlin had had no plan beyond _finding Guinevere_ and Arthur knows that Merlin -

He had told Merlin that he cared about Gwen more than anyone but he knew it was a lie the moment it fell from his lips. He remembers looking at Merlin - feeling his heartbeat pounding in his ears and being unable to say _except you_. Instead he had let things carry, let it fade into nothing and the look on Merlin's face had been catalogued and filed away, like so many others recently. Hurting, always hurting and Arthur doesn't know how to stop himself. It's easier to push Merlin away, to make him think he loves Guinevere unconditionally, the _most_. It's easier to mock and berate Merlin than to tell him he cares, loves him, _needs him_.

Arthur is no coward except around Merlin.

"Ready?" Guinevere touches his arm and it takes every ounce of self-control Arthur possesses not to flinch away. She's still Guinevere, he still _loves her_ but she is not Merlin. Merlin would never have touched him, would have talked and mocked and berated until Arthur snapped, broke down and shouted everything he'd been keeping inside.

She is not Merlin and he is only just realising now what that means.

He needs Merlin, wants him in every way and he isn't leaving this place until he has him. Even if he has to carry his lifeless body from the castle, Arthur is getting him back.

\---

He kills everyone he comes across.

Arthur has been training for years. Lancelot has been fighting to survive for years. Gwen is a blacksmith's daughter; knows swords almost as well as he does.

The three of them fight with precision and practice and, in Guinevere's case, dirty. Arthur doesn't look at their faces. Doesn't care if they have wives, children, families. He sees Merlin's face in every one of them and he hears Merlin scream as they yell for his blood.

Their bodies fall like rocks and it's a litany of _merlin, merlin, merlin_.

\---

Arthur crashes through the door, sword already lowering in his hand. The dungeon stinks, is nothing like Lancelot and Guinevere explained, but Merlin is there, crouched low on the floor. There's blood on his face and he's whimpering, arms cradled close to his body. Rage, uncontrollable rage, grips Arthur and he strides forward until he's in Merlin's space.

When he lifts his head, Merlin is looking at Arthur, eyes wide and scared. The bruise on his chin has blossomed into something black and ugly and Arthur's hand clenches around his sword. They can never pay enough, these people, for what they have done. "I didn't tell them anything," he says, voice shaking. "I didn't tell them anything."

His heart is pounding in his ears but Arthur knows they don't have much time. "Can you walk?"

Merlin blinks heavily, but he seems to understand what Arthur is asking of him. He nods slowly, shifting on the ground. His clothes are torn, broken and Arthur helps him up, sliding a hand under his arm. Merlin winces and jerks away, resisting the urge to press against Arthur.

Jaw locked tight, Arthur's skin is alight with fire; angry in ways he never thought he could be. "Let me help you."

Merlin grits his teeth and the blush spreading over his face shouldn't be necessary. He admits slowly that it hurts and the fact that Merlin is ashamed of this, embarrassed only makes Arthur more determined to kill everyone he sees.

"I know," he whispers instead, years of training, of living under his fathers reign and learning when to back down, when to appear deferent, allows him to tear every shake of anger from his tone and leave only reassurance, care. "I'm going to get you out of here."

He touches Merlin's wrist and when Merlin neither flinches nor yelps in pain, he curls his fingers around it. Merlin flickers a smile at him, desperate and needy and reliant and Arthur wants to stop, to throw down his sword, curl around Merlin and protect him from everything. The feeling is so profound that it shakes him to his very core. He looks away then and tugs a little, letting Merlin fall forward and stick close as they make their way to the door. "We aren't stopping until we're out, do you understand?"

He looks back to find Merlin's gaze intent upon his face, as though he is using all of his energy just to keep Arthur in his sight. It scares Arthur a little but he doesn't show it, doesn't even admit it to himself.

"Yes," Merlin says.

\---

Arthur keeps his fingers wrapped around Merlin's wrist, grounding them both and feeling the pulse beat steadily against his palm. It's everything he needs, right here, to convince himself Merlin is okay, safe, _alive_.

"Arthur, Arthur please," Merlin says, feet pounding on the floor. Arthur doesn't know what he's asking but if it's to _stop, please stop_ he knows they can't. If he has to drag Merlin out of here and away he will because there is no way in hell that Hengist is getting his hands on Merlin. Not again, not ever.

They round the corner and suddenly Guinevere and Lancelot are there, bloody and beaten but grinning with the thrill he remembers from every battle, every fight. It will fade once they are back out in the forest (they'll get there, they _have to_ ) but for now they halt, catch sight of Merlin and look relieved.

"You're okay," Guinevere gasps, touching Merlin's cheek with bloodstained fingers. Merlin flinches and Arthur pulls him back protectively. It's an instinctive reaction, one he can't stop even as he sees hurt flicker through Guinevere's eyes.

Merlin presses against Arthur, though, fingers shaking as they curl into the back of his jacket and Arthur makes a promise - a promise to get a list of every injury Merlin suffered and then inflict each and every one on Hengist. He deserves nothing less and Arthur will make his death long and painful.

\---

They don't stop until they reach the lake. Merlin is already wilting, moving on Arthur's pull alone and he feels a pang of guilt at not checking Merlin over, making sure to stop to give him time to catch his breath.

Lancelot bends over, hands on his knees and Guinevere leans against a tree, slides down it to the floor. They are safe for now, without the constant threat of being followed, and Arthur takes time to press Merlin to the floor, make him comfortable.

"I didn't tell them," Merlin repeats and looks at Arthur's face. He is utterly exhausted, Arthur knows, hurt and wilting and desperate for something Arthur can't give. He needs Gaius, knows the old man would help Merlin where he can't. Arthur doesn't ask for Merlin to explain and eventually Merlin reaches up a shaking hand, touches Arthur's face.

The gesture is intimate and Arthur knows he should be embarrassed that this is happening in front of Lancelot and Guinevere but he finds he does not care. "I thought-"

"I know," Merlin whispers, eyes sliding closed. "I thought it too."

"Merlin," Arthur says, hands cupping Merlin's face. He has a million things he could say but none of them seem to say _enough_. Merlin smiles wearily and drops his head forward, hands scrambling against Arthur's clothes. The world is reduced to them, the feel of Merlin's forehead against his own and the rustle of wind against the trees. Arthur trusts Lancelot and Guinevere and knows that they will not speak of this. He is hurting her, he thinks, but she will understand. Merlin is everything and nothing, he is a part of Arthur as much as he is a part of Merlin and she has to know this, has to accept it if they are to be anything at all.

He wants to say _i love you_ but even those words are not enough. They are so much more than a feeling or a need.

Merlin lets out a soft breath against Arthur's cheek and he forgets about everything, about the anger and the worry and the hurt and wraps his arms around Merlin's shoulders, mindful of any injuries. Merlin sighs softly, pressing his face into Arthur's neck and fisting his hands in Arthur's breeches. It's not a spectacular hug by any standards but it gives them both something they need. Merlin is protected here, safe and Arthur will not let anything hurt him.

"I knew you would come for me," Merlin says.

His trust hurts. His loyalty is ridiculous. His complete confidence in everything Arthur does, _is_ , is frightening but Arthur smiles against Merlin's temple and knows that he wants none of it to change. "Always."

It is a promise he will keep as long as he has breath.

**.the end**


End file.
